Week 11 - Post 1

When searching for the term “forgiveness” I found a lot of sites talking about forgiveness and how to forgive.  A lot of links to videos and presentations came up as well.  I did not find this to be surprising, I was expecting though to see some religious sites because religions are all about forgiveness.

When searching for the term “reconciliation” I found a lot of religion based sites.  Besides religion focused sites, my results provided definitions for the term reconciliation.  I was not surprised by these results either.  I think reconciliation and forgiveness are more popular in a positive outlook.    

When searching for the term “revenge” it was all television based.  Since that show is popular, television sites were what came up the most.  When I browsed through the millions of results, I found more and more sites dealing with revenge in television, movies, and video games.  I was shocked that there were really no results for a definition or presentations about revenge like the other terms showed. 

I was not surprised by the fact that the term revenge produced more sites than the other terms.  Revenge is a word that is used by many television shows etc.  It is a great word to use in entertainment because it keeps viewers interested.  Forgiveness and reconciliation are words that are claiming and “boring” to viewers of television shows.  When looking on the web, it proves that revenge is more popular because media wants it to be.  When looking at the results for forgiveness and reconciliation, they were all based on the definition and the positive aspects of the term. 

Results:

Forgiveness: 64,300,000

Reconciliation: 61,000,000

Revenge: 297,000,000

Week 10 - Post 1

When using Facebook, I present myself the same way I would in person.  I don’t normally post a lot of stuff on Facebook; I am pretty private in that aspect.  But, if something interesting happens or I go on a trip or do something fun I post pictures and make a status.  I use the “check in” tool when I go places, but I do not put a lot of personal information on.  For example, if a family member or someone very close passes away I do not post that kind of information on there.  I hope that people get the impression that I am being myself and not acting differently online then I would in person.  I have never had someone post something on my Facebook that I wouldn’t want.  I don’t have anything to hide from people, so it really doesn’t bother me what people post.  I do know a lot of people who worry what people post or how that might make them look. 

I think there Facebook relates to conflict and communication in a big way.  With Facebook comes conflict.  There is no way to avoid it.  For example, people tend to post inappropriate things or there are posts that are made that not everyone agrees with.  Also the ability to “snoop” into peoples lives also causes conflicts, if you find something you might not have wanted to see.  Facebook causes a lot of conflict between spouses and friends.  There also comes conflict with how you portray yourself on Facebook.  There are so many people who portray themselves as someone completely different than how they are portrayed in person. 

Week 9 - Post 3

I enjoyed the idea of how to respond to another’s anger.  I agree completely with how the text says to respond, calmly.  Responding in a calm matter is important, because you are not feeding to their anger.  The book also talks about how to respond by getting them to calm down before expressing your own anger.  Acknowledge how the person is feeling and let them know that you understand they are angry, but take a time out and let them breath and calm down. 

When I do mediations, the number one thing we have to remember is that when a person becomes angry I always make sure to reframe and let them know that I am aware they are angry.  I always remain calm, which seems to catch them off guard.  I think a lot of people who get angry expect the other person to become angry as well.  It is not my job to become angry or let the issue affect me. 

I had a mediation recently where both parties would try and speak over each other and become angry when talking about the issue.  I remained calm and I took control of the situation.  I had a student observer and later when we debriefed the case she told me that she was amazed how I remained so calm.  I explained to her that if you become angry, you are only fueling the fire and making them angrier. 

Week 9 - Post 2

The chance of me blowing up is rare.  There are times that I have blown up before, but it takes a lot to get me to that point.  I usually express my anger calmly.  I feel that yelling and blowing up does not do much to help the situation.  Expressing your anger calmly is a way to let people know you are angry, but in a clam way.  I think that this is the best way to express anger because you are not angering the other person by blowing up on them, but you are still expressing your anger to them.  I think that if you were to hold in your anger, one will eventually blow.  I know that this has happened to me before and has been the cause of me blowing up over something so little.  It was because I had held in a lot of my anger and it only took a little thing to set me off at that point.  I feel that they best way in expressing anger is by doing it in a calmly manner, this will be beneficial to everyone involved.   

Week 9 - Post 1

The first solution, “making a distinction between work and play” I can easily see how this solution can help me feel better about my job and school.  My job and school bring on a lot of stress, but making time for “play” will lessen the amount of stress that I take on because there will be a period of time where I will be enjoying myself not thinking about work and school. I try to do this currently, I take time out of my day to go for a run, go out with my boyfriend, or watch mindless television.

The second solution looks at taking the view that “play is an attitude of mind that may pervade any human activity.”Finding joy in work or school can be difficult at times, but by changing the way I think about it might help my attitude at work or school and take away some of the stress.  I try to always find joy in what I do, but sometimes it is difficult, but when I do find joy in work or school my day tends to be less stressful and my enjoyable.

The third solution “integration, understanding that joy and pain are often found in the same place and that both are to be valued”. Most of the time when you find joy, you find pain or vice versa.  You have to keep in mind that everything happens for a reason.  I tend to try to make the best out of every situation.  Sometimes that can be difficult when it comes to work and school, but trying to find joy even when there is pain helps distract you from the stress that you are feeling. 

Week 7 - Post 3

There were a lot of concepts and ideas that I enjoyed in this chapter.  I think one of my favorite concepts is the idea of power sharing.  To be able to share power in a relationship is something that not a lot of people can do.  I know that I have been in a relationship where the other person had all the power and it really has a negative affect.  I myself tend to be a more powerful person and when I know that someone tends to have more power than I do at all times in a relationship it tends to not sit well with me.  In my certain relationship, we have a great way of sharing power.  I think that we each have our own times where one might have more power over the other, but we are okay with that and sharing the power has really worked for us.  We have been together for close to six years now and it has been great.  I think a lot of people need to learn how to share the power in relationships; there would be a lot less conflict.  

Week 7 - Post 2

I think that anyone would agree that having more power might be great at first, but really it does not feel good for all parties involved.  I know that when I feel that I have less power, I get defensive and depending on who has more power I try to act as if I am the one who has the more power.  For example wit parents; as kids we all knew our parents had more power, but we still would try to resist.  That is how we are built.  I think that having an unbalanced power relationship wouldn’t feel good; I think it is hard to have unbalanced power, again depending on the relationship.  If it were your spouse, having an unbalanced power relationship could potentially hurt the relationship.  I know that in certain aspects of my boyfriend and I’s relationship, he or I might have more power.  It depends on the situation and if there is a conflict.  For example I have more power when it comes to paying the bills and he has more power when it comes to what we are watching on TV (he hates my girly shows haha). 

Week 7 - Post 1

Unfortunately, yes I have lost trust in someone very close to me, my father.  We used to have a great relationship and naturally I had a lot of trust in my father.  But, as the years went on I slowly started loosing trust in him along with a lot of other feelings.  Loosing trust in him was hard for me to grasp.  I couldn’t help how I felt and I was lost and did not know how to handle the situation.  When I realized that I lost respect for my father I felt confused, sad and angry.  As of today I still have no trust in him or even a relationship and honestly I am okay with that.  I have accepted it and my life is a lot better without him.  We had such a toxic relationship that it was bringing me down.  I hope that maybe one day he might try to regain his trust, but I do no think that will happen for a long time.