Week 11 - Post 3

I found the social exchange theory in chapter twelve to be interesting.  I feel that all relationship values are determined.  I believe that people determine their value in conflicts as well.  For example, we might ask ourselves, is it worth it to be in conflict with him/her since I value the satisfaction and commitment of the relationship?  If we did not value those things in our relationship the likely hood of a conflict might be greater. 

I value the relationship I have with my boyfriend.  We have been together almost six years now.  The level of satisfaction in our relationship is high.  We have been through a lot and I am satisfied with how much we have grown together.  The level of commitment is extremely high in our relationship.  We have a give and take relationship.  We both give all the time and in return we both receive as well.  It’s a matter of balance and it seems to work very well.  Therefore, with our level of satisfaction and commitment it shows that we both value this relationship very much. 

The value of my relationship with my father is the opposite of the value of the relationship I have with my boyfriend.  I have talked about this relationship before and it is one that I do not value.  The level of satisfaction I have with this relationship is low.  The amount of positive experience versus negative experience is much lower.  The commitment I have with this relationship is very low as well.  For my father is was more of what he could get out of it that what he could give.  It was always about what made him happy and not about what made me happy.  This relationship determined value is very low.  

Week 11 - Post 2

I do not want to say that I have made a lot of false attributions, but I have made some in my lifetime.  I feel that false attributions are normal because we are all humans.  I know that I have made internal and external attributions about others before.  I can think of a recent conflict that occurred with my mother and I.  To make a long story short, it had to do with my upcoming graduation and my feelings that my parents did not seem to acknowledge it was rapidly approaching.  I made a false attribution and thought that they were not proud of me and were not planning on having a dinner to celebrate.  I confronted my mother about it and everything turned out great.  They were planning on doing a dinner for me, they just did not want to bring it up yet because they know how stressed I am.  My false attribution created a conflict that never needed to occur. 

These false attributions are rare, but they do occur.  I have had false attributions about my boyfriend, my friends and even family.  I have also experienced others having false attributions about me.  It is something that one cannot avoid.  They will happen it; it just depends on how you deal with these false attributions and how to avoid them in the future.  Everyone needs to learn from past false attributions and find different ways of confronting people about an attribution and not let it blow out of proportion.